Dir: James Kenelm Clarke
Starring: Fiona Richmond and Anthony Steel
The sexual adventures of an actress
This typical soft-core ’70s romp does at least feature a number of railway scenes. Fiona Richmond takes a train journey which starts with a low ground level shot of a Class 52 ‘Western’ diesel-hydraulic-hauled WR express followed by scenes onboard early Mk2 corridor stock where she seduces the guard of the train. This is followed by a shot of Mk2 air-cons entering an unknown tunnel on a line with OHLE. There are then a number of scenes on the Bluebell Railway where a flimsily clad Richmond is picked up from the lineside by the driver of ex-SR USA Class 0-6-0T No.30064. Richmond and the steam loco driver then make love on the footplate with the train in motion and we are treated to a number of run bys of the train and a shot of the interior of ex-LNWR Observation Car No.1503 at the rear. As the driver of the steam train and the guard of the express are one and the same we realise that it is a visual scenario used to depict her climax, with such obvious cliches as moving motion, escaping steam and a sounding whistle. All this ends with a bare-breasted Richmond sat on the train opposite two old aged pensioners who were asleep at the time Richmond entered the carriage but who are now very much awake! The railway scenes end with another low ground level shot of a WR express which is now hauled by a Class 47 diesel suggesting a change of traction en route. In the film Fiona’s words recall her reasoning behind her shenanigans – ‘In desperation I took a different track, no intelligent girl can fail to find something to intrigue her. All that shunting and reversing, all those gentle gradients and sudden inclines, all the rapid entries into darkened tunnels, and the unspoken promise that softly lies beneath the simple words Tickets Please!!’. They do say that train travel does some strange things to people but make of that what you will.